I feel for you hun My boys are similar - DS1 was never a tanty chucker, DS2 is a champion tantrumer. It really seems to come down to personality. It does get better - now at 5, DS can snap out of it more quickly and it's not as extreme, but he still does get upset at times when he doesn't get his way.

I think that to a certain extent we have to accept that some kids take longer to manage and understand their emotions and to see our role as helping them learn. As frustrating as is it to deal with at the time, it helps them to be reassured that it is ok to feel the way they feel. That anger, sadness, frustration are all ok feelings, but that together we will find a way to help them deal with it better. Easier said than done though, I know.